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How can you tell if there's an elephant under your bed?
When the bed touches the ceiling.
Did you hear about the idiot who found a feather in his bed?
He thought he had chicken pox?
Did you hear about the man who heard a mouse squeaking one night?
He got up to oil it!
What does a cat rest its head on when it goes to sleep?
A caterpillar.
Did you hear about the man who slept under an old tractor?
He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.
Did you hear about the parents who called their baby 'Caffeine?'
It kept them awake all night!
Do elephants snore?
Only when they're asleep.
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